Could be Worse!
by whitechocolate14
Summary: Remy, Rogue, Wanda, Pyro, and Deadpool all travel down to Louisiana. Things can only end in disaster. Sequel to This Sucks! ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Remember dis li'l piece? I think you do. This Sucks is back in business, baby! xxTheVoicesxx gave this idea for the record and I don't wanna plagorize or anything, I got permission and everything. You'll see what I mean later on. So, yeah, don't sue me or anything. Please. I try to please you people! Why would you dare suggest that you are going to sue me? What did I do, meanies. *They didn't try to sue you, WC.* Oh, riiiiight. Cool. Well, I best shut the front door now. ONWARD!**

Remy POV

I whistled a tune and kept on walking away from the fire. Yep, Remy "Gambit" LeBeau caused that fire, kiddies. Yeah, I know what you're thinkin', mes amies. And yes, it was from an awesome heist. Yes, it does involve Rogue. But all is not what you think.

You see, the story begins a little differently than most. Although, this one has a beginning, a middle, and eventually...an ending. Well, you should obviously know that. I'd be worried if you didn't, seeing as how, like, 99% of you people have written a story or two.

But our story don't start here, kids. Well, techonally it does, since it is the prologue. But since WC makes this crap up as she goes along and is a woman, therefore she can never make up her mind, she'll just skip to the begining of the story.

It startes...Well, I have absolutly no idea when it starts, but I know it was a while ago. So here goes, WC take over for now.

**Do I have to?**

You're kinda the author, WC.

**I think I know this, Remyo.**

Remyo? That sounds an afull lot like Romeo.

**Hahahahahah...Wh-what gave you that idea?**

I dunno. But you do the honors.

**Thank you. Ahem...ONWARD WITH THE STORY!**

XXXXX

I walked to Xaviers study, but before I could knock his voice shot through my mind.

_"Come in, Remy."_

That still needed some getting used to. I walked in and he had his fingers folded under his chin.

"Bonjour, professeur. Are y' busy?" I asked.

"Not at all, Remy. What is it?" He asked me.

"Well, y' know how it's really close to Christmas?"

"Yeah, it's about 2 days 'till Christmas, Remy."

"Yep, an' I was wonderin' if me, ma chere, an' maybe a friend could join us in goin' to my home." I asked.

Charles thought it over for a moment. "Sure, go ahead and enjoy yourselves. Happy Holidays, Mr. LeBeau."

I smiled and went off on my way. I opened the door to Rogue and Kitty's room and yelled, "Roguey, I home!"

Kitty and Rogue shreiked and hid something under Kitty's bed. You could tell it was Kitty's side of the room. I don't think anyone's ever described how their room looked. It was unique.

There was a line down the middle of the room and two closets. One side was all unicorns and glitter and butterflies. You know, girly stuff.

The other side, though, was like...how do I put it? Like, a punk/artist kid would make the room. That don't work does it.

Kitty's half was pink walled, with a canopy bed, a flowery nightstand, and a white desk and dresser with a mirror. Very simple and girly. Oh, there was also pink and blue little butterflies everywhere. She had posters of boybands I have never, ever heard of.

Rogue's half was splattered painted walls, black wall with neon green, blue, yellow, and red splatters everywhere. Her bed was a big bunkbed with only the top bunk. There was a desk underneath and a slide that was orange conecting to Rogue's bed. Ofcourse there was her reading corner. She had that pretty dresser, she painted it black. She had Avril Lavigne, Paramore, Bowling For Soup, and The Killers posters everywhere. And an Avatar: The Last Airbend poster by her bed. There was her Appa and Momo plush toys.

It wasn't overkill, just for the record.

Well, back to where I was.

"Is dat my gift, filles?" I asked getting closer.

"Yes, now leave, we were havin' a great conversation." Rogue told me, playfully.

"Is it 'bout me? Y' know I can't handle people talkin' b'hind ma back." I asked dramatically.

"Yes, 'cuz yer sooooo interestin'." Rogue said dryly.

"I know, I try." I said as Kitty giggled.

"But I really need t' ask y' somet'in', chere." I told her.

"Yeah, what?" Rogue asked.

"Well, I was hopin' y'd go down t' Louisiana wit' me fer Christmas. Since yer gonna be all alone here wit' no one here t' keep y' company." I told her.

"I'm going home, Kurt's home, Jean's going home, the new mutants are all going home, Scott's dead, Logan's going to be at some pub bar or something, Prof. X will probably go with Beast, Ororo will be in Africa." Kitty told her.

"Hmmm...You got a point, Kit. Sure, when will we leave?" Rogue asked me.

"Tonight, hopefully." I said, getting surprised glances at both girls.

"TONIGHT! Ah gotta pack!" Rogue told me as she shoved me outside. I chuckled as I was littertaly thrown out on my tush. Ow, my beautiful, beautiful tush.

**You are so concieted, Remy.**

Not concieted, convinced.

I grabbed my cool i-phone and dialed the brotherhood number.

"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." Blob's voice came out of the phone.

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, John, it's me, Remy. I called to ask if y' an' yer girlfriend would join me an' Rogue to go t' N'Awlins fer Christmas. Call back an' tell me oui or non. If yer goin' pack real quick. We're leavin' t'night." I turned off my phone and went to my room. Wade was there in a chair.

"I've been waiting for you." Wade tells me.

"What?" I ask.

"You think I don't know about you and Rogue leaving me." Wade said, sounding near to tears.

"Yeah, an' I jus' asked Wanda an' John if dey could join too." I said.

"AND YOU DIDN'T ASK ME?" Wade said, bawling like a big baby.

"Stop bein' so mellowdramatic. I was goin' ta ask y'." I lied. I didn't wanna hear DP cry anymore.

"Really?" Wade asked hopefully.

"Yeaaaah..." I told him. Wade ran up and hugged me.

"Oh! Dieu! Wade...Get...Off...O' me!" I yelled. He let go of me and I gasped for air.

"C'mon! We must pack! FOR THE ALOMO!" Wade cried.

What have I gotten myself into?


	2. Chapter 2

Remy's POV

I waited very patiently for my phone call back from Pyro. Very very patiently. But you probably don't know what my version of patient is like. Rogue says I need lessons or something. I have no idea why. I'm a very calm person.

**Hahahahahahahaha! *Wipes tear* Who are you tryin' to fool?**

No one. Why?

**No reason!**

Oh well.

I paced and paced and drummed my fingers on the desk by my phone. There was a black track on the carpet were I had walking. All my bags were packed so I just had to wait for the others.

I guess I'll just have to entertain myself.

_"A horse is a horse of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse. Of course that is, of course, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed. Right to the source, and ask the horse-"_

**Remy! Stop singing the Mr. Ed themesong.**

Meow, someone's grouchy today! Jesus, woman.

**Shut up, Remy.**

Since when am I ever quiet?

**Good point. Just go on with it.**

Can do. If only Fire Bug would call me ba-

_"I'm too sexy for Milan. Too sexy for Milan, New York, Japan-"_

...Don't judge me...It's a good song, dangit!

"Yellow?" I asked into the phone.

_"Gasp! How'd yoi know what colour I was wearin', Rems. Sniff. Yoi know me so well!" _John's voice came through the other line.

"Johnny, y' only wear red or yellow." I told him.

_"So?"_

"Nev'rmind. So y' join' us or what?" I ask.

_"I'll go, but...Wanda an' I had a fallin' out..."_

"Oh, really, what hap'ned?"

_"Get this, Toad kissed her! No wait, it wasn't his fault! She openly, accepted him with open arms and kissed him. She could've told me. She didn't tell anyone else. Heck, she didn't tell Toad about us..."_

"Oh, Py, I'm sorry." I said sincerly. "She should've told y'. But...Tell her Rogue's joinin'. Oh, an' Wade."

I heard some grumbling. Something about me being impatient and inconsiderate. I wonder what gave him that stupid idea.

**Gee, looks like we have a serious mystery on our hands, Scooby.**

You know, you can be very annoyin', WC.

**I aim to please.**

You ain't pleasin', petite.

**Do you wish for me to kill you off?**

No! Anything but that! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

**Forgiven. I think Pyro's sayin' something.**

_"-Woman! SHUT UP!" _I heard zapping noises and someone going "YEOW!".

Pants started filling the other line. I held the phone away from my ear and gave it a questioning look.

_"She said yes."_

"Bon. See y' tonight. Be sure t' pack." I said as I hung up and fist pumped. Then I remembered how Wanda had a temper when angery.

Merde. Maybe bein' with Rogue will make it worth it? Yeah, she might calm them down a bit.

Oh, who am I kidding? This can only end disaster.

XXXXXXX

I waited outside the Institute for Rogue and Wade by my car. My beautiful, beautiful black 1968 chevy comaroe with red racing stripes. It looked like it just stepped out of a time machine. Bet you're jealous. In fact, you're probably drooling at the thought of me, the most gorgeous man on the face of the planet, having the most beautiful car ever.

**My God! Shut up, Remy!**

What'd I do?

***Pulls hair* You're so frustrating!**

Your mom's frustrating!

**What are ya, 2?**

No. I'm 19. You wrote that, you should know how old I am.

***Sigh* I know how old you are, Gambit.**

Uh oh, you only call us by our codenames when your upset...

**OH GOOD LORD, SHUT UP! We know this! Now just...be quiet! Please!**

FINE, WOMAN!

Rogue stomps over to me with Wade talking nonestop behind her. Her eye is twitching and she looks ready to kill.

"-Then there was the time Batman and I went to Burger King. Yeeeeeah, I'm really suspicious about him and Robin. I mean, no one notices that his name is Dick, he wears little shorts-no undies!-and is a sidekick to a grown man in a rubber suit. I mean, what was DC thinking when they did that. Seriously."

"If yer tryin' to make me kill mahself, so help meh, Ah'm takin' yah down wit' meh!" Rogue screamed at him.

"Meow. Someone's PMSing!" Wade dodged Rogue's fist.

Rogue screamed in frustration and walked away. She flopped in the passanger seat and Wade took the hump in the back.

"Remy, either you slam that frickin' gas pedle now, or THERE WILL BE A BLOOD BATH!" Rogue screamed at the top of her lungs. I punched the gas and went to the Brotherhood house.

Wanda and John were looking away from each other, glaring what was ever in front of them.

"Geez, Rems. Any later, an' tha shelia here woulda bit my head off." John said as he sat right side of Wade.

Wanda got in on the other side and sneered at John. "Oh, you'd like that wouln't you?"

"Maybe I would enjoy it, just in spite of you."

"Well, I'd make it worse for you, just so you would _enjoy _it more."

"Good!"

"Fine then! Hmph!"

"Hmph!"

The turned their noses away from each other dramatically and Wade looked very uncomfortable.

"Well, this is akward."

God, this is going to be a long trip.


	3. Chapter 3

Remy's POV

My eye twitched as we reached Ohio. I knew it was Ohio by all the potatos. Potato, potatos, potatos! EVERYWHERE! What was with all the potatos? I swear after this, I never want to see another potato! Don't these people know that most bad things in horror films happen in potato fields?

Oh, wait. That's CORN fields. Phew, we're good.

The reason my eye kept twitching was because Wade kept singing. And the radio wasn't even on. No, this guy brought his Mp3 player with his HUGE headphones on. He kept bobbing his head and singing at the top of his lungs. Oh, and when I say at the top of his lungs, don't think I'm exagerating. 'Cause, trust me, I wish I was.

_"ON THE ROAD AGAIN! I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN! _Crap, stupid thing stopped working!" Wade started beating on the thing I shall now refer to as the death of me.

He yelled and threw it out. I sighed with relief and smiled. No more of that thing. See ya, stupid machine. HAHAHAHA!

"That's ok, I know the song by heart."

No. No. Oh, God, no!

_"On the road again! Just can't wait to get back on the road again! The life I love is makin' music with my friends and I can't wait to get on the road again-"_

"WADE SHUT UP, OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL HEX EVERY MOLECULE AND CELL TO WHERE YOU ARE EXPLODED! I WILL USE YOUR SKIN AS A JACKET AND YOUR BONES AS A COAT RACK!" Wanda yelled.

Wade gulped and shut up. I really don't want to mess with her in this state.

"Thank yah, Wands." Rogue told Wanda, she smiled and looked out the window.

Well, this was just fan-freakin'-tastic. I hate akward silences.

"I hate akward silences." I say as I turn on the radio. Wait, didn't I have a CD in there, oh well.

_"Oh, baby, baby. How was I supposed to know-"_

CRAP! NOT THE BRITTANY! THAT WAS A GIFT! I SWEAR! Ok, maybe I'm lyin'. Oh, what, like you don't have a singer who you secretly adore their music? Don't judge me.

"Remy?" Rogue asks me, trying to keep a straight face and failing.

"What! IT WAS A GIFT! UH, I LET SCOTT BORROW IT!" I scream. My face was flushing so bad.

"Wow. Just...Wow." John says from the back.

"Shut it!" I yell. They all laugh at my expense. What great friends.

Yep, just a few mean friends, a Brittney Spears CD, and a bunch of potatos. A crap load of potatos, to be exact. Potatos every where YOU FRICKIN' LOOK!

I swear to God all mighty, if I EVER see another potato field as long as I live, I WILL kill myself!

Calm yourself, LeBeau. Don't let the potatos get to you. That's just what they want. Let your guard down, ranting, have an aneurism, then BAM! SPLAT! Carwreck and we're all dead!

See, I've gone nutts, I tell you. I think potatos are plotting against me. I can't let Rogue know this, she'd send me to the looney bin, then I'll end up just like...(DUN DUN DUN!) _Wade..._

I shudder at this thought. Oh, God. I'm scared! WC hold me!

**What? No!**

C'mon! I'm scared! I patted you on the back during One Day.

***Sniff* Stupid brittish movies! *Hugs***

Actually, they weren't really Brittish.

**Shut up!**

Rogue looks at me, worried. "Are yah okay, Remy?"

I nod. "Oui. Why?"

"Yah seem really angery then calm all of a sudden..." Rogue said, scooting away a little bit.

"Deep in mind."

"What mind? Ah thought it was jus' a bunch of hot gas?"

I smirk. "Oh, so y' t'ink I'm hot now?"

Rogue rolls her eyes and looks at the potatos.

GASP! They ARE plotting against me! They've gotten the attention of my woman!

Oh, God, I need some sleep. Theres a hotel over there. It's almost midnight anyways. We've been at this for hours. I pull up to the hotel and walk in.

I'm gonna skip the whole boring "oh, here's your room and stuff" crap would probably be really stupid. Everyone knows how these things go. If not, ask your parents to take you to a hotel and watch.

I take ALL the bags up stairs, because _some people _are too lazy to do it themselves! Rant over.

I go up to some bedroom. Honestly, we got choice of 4b or 5b, and right, I could care less of which one I'm getting at this moment.

I put every bag down and flop down on the mattress.

"Oh, dear, sweet baby Jesus!" I sigh into a pillow. I don't even bother to change into my pj's, I just grab the blanket and pull it over me. "Night, night."

I can sense someone looking over me.

"Whaaaaat?" I don't whine, but I'm, like, really tired.

"You do relize you're stuck in a room with two of the craziest characters from X men that WC knows of, right?" Wade asks.

I groan. I knew this would end in distaster, but nooooo I was so stinkin' naive!

Pyro flopps on the mattress next to me.

"Sooooooooo...TRUTH OR DARE! Hey, mate, are yoi cryin'?" Pyro asks me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rogue and Wanda were in the other room, having a better time than Remy.

"I'm tellin' you, that Taylor Kitsch is, lahke, God's gift ta woman." Rogue told Wanda.

"Whatever, I prefer my Andy Six."

"But he's so creepy..." Rogue tried.

"But have you SEEN those abs. Mmmm...We all can't have men like your Remy. What'd I do to have a swing like that in my backyard. Mmm!" Wanda said.

"WANDA!" Rogue started giggling.

"What? Lust is just an emotion. Don't blame me, I saw you drooling all those times." Wanda said.

"What? Meh, drool? Shugah, HE was tha one droolin', lahke, 98% of the tahme." Rogue said.

They both started laughing.

"So, Rogue, what movie are we going to watch tonight?"

"Ah found this movie, Kitty told meh it was really good." She held out a movie, One Day.

"Oh, yeah, don't it have Ann Hathaway?"

"Yep." Rogue said as she popped the movie in the DVD player.

The comercials looked stupid so Rogue turned to Wanda.

"So why are yah and John fightin'?" Rogue asked.

Wanda's eye twitched. "He's jealous that I kissed Toad and never told him. I mean, seriously, does he honestly think I'm having a secrete love affair with the dirtiest boy ever?"

"Ah, Ah see. Wait, how'd he found out? An' why are yah mad?"

"Because he read my diary! I had very personal stuff in there and he forgets my privacy and just reads it!"

"WHAT A BASTARD!" Rogue yelled.

"I know!" Wanda yelled.

"Dang..."

"Oh, the movie's about to start." Wanda grabbed some popcorn and got closer.

Rogue turned to her, "Kitty says it'll make meh cry. Ah bet it was somethang lahke 'Oh, I love you', crap."

Wanda laughed. "Yeah."

XX2 hours laterXX

Rogue and Wanda were sobbing and clutching various plush toys. Wanda, her soft Achmed toy and Rogue with her Appa toy.

"How can they do that! If Ah wanted real lahfe, Ah'd go outside! Not watch someone die!" Rogue said crying.

"Yeah, she really grew on me!" Wanda said, turning off the movie.

"Did we both scream?" Rogue asked Wanda.

"Yeah." Wanda took some tissues and wiped her face.

"Oh, Ah'm gonna kill Kitty!" Rogue said.

"I second that motion."

"Ok, we need a happy movie. Something, anythang."Rogue said, calmed down.

They looked at each other and started crying again.

XXXXXXX

Remy's POV

My eye twitched. Why couldn't girls ever go through a sappy movie without crying?

I got up from the soft bed, stepped on the boy's Scrabble match, and went to the door that connected to their room. I knocked loudly.

"Eit'er y' bot' shut up, or Remy'll come in dere!" I said grouchy. What? I'm tired.

"Shut up, yah'd cry, too, LeBeau. Ah saw yah cry durin' Old Yeller!"

"Dat's a lie! It was m' allergies!"

"Uh-uh, we believe you, Remy." Wade said.

Oh, God must hate me.

"Fine, maybe I cried a little..."

"A li'l? Boy, yah went through 2 full boxes of Cleanex!" Rogue yelled. I could hear Wanda snickering. I looked back at the boys. They looked like they were trying to keep a straight face.

"Shut up. 'M goin' t' bed."

Ah, bed. Maybe if I was lucky, and I mean REALLY lucky, I could forget about the evil potatos, the girls crying, Scrabble, or Old Yeller.

I sniffed. That was a sad movie. Oh great, I look like a sissy now. So, what I cry from one little movie. Big deal. Everyone has atleast cried at one movie in their lifetime.

**Remy, just stop ranting and go to sleep already. This is probably really boring for the reader.**

Then why'd you write it?

**It was in my brain.**

What brain?

**Not now, LeBeau.**

Fine. I'm going to bed. I don't care what you do at this moment. Night.

**Hmm...Actually for me, it's the afternoon, but hey, go ahead and sleep.**

Whatever, I don't care. I've been in a car with four crazies for about 5 hours, with Brittney Spears and evil potatos! I WANT TO SLEEP.

**Geez, and they say I'm grouchy.**

I hate you.


	4. Chapter 4

**Fleas navy Dad! Sombrero lasagna somethin' somethin'. In French or Itallian, that means, Merry Christmas.**

Remy's POV

"RE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-EM-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y! WA-A-A-A-AKE U-U-U-U-UP!" John and Wade screamed.

I reached around and grabbed a shoe and chucked it at one of them. I don't care who, just one of them. Thankfully it hit the most annoying one of them. Wade.

"Ow! Dude!" I heard Wade scream.

I would've snickered at him if I was awake, but c'mon! Give a guy a break. I'm just so freakin' tired. And I was having a very interesting dream. Wanna know what it's about? No? Oh, well, I'll tell you anyways.

It was about that one Multiple kid, Jamie. Ok, he was in a tux and people referred to him as "Jamie Bond." Don't laugh. Ok, and he would, like, beat up these school bullies and little elementary girls would gush over him. Then he fough his biggest foe. Mr. Potato head. No, the _evil _Mr. Potato head. Then once Jamie turned him into french fries, he turned to some ice cream place and asked for a milkshake. Shaken, not stirred.

And no, I wasn't on crack in the midst of all this. I don't tell people this stuff because the world is not anywhere near ready to handle my insanity. I mean, last chapter I thought that potatos were plotting against me!

But where was-OH GOD NO! THEY'RE EVIL! Stupid lightswitch.

For those of you who are confused, the boys that I shall refer to as Demon Spawn when I talk about both of them, turned on the lights. Ok, maybe I'm lying about the whole Demon Spawn thing. They are evil, but that's just too much effort to think about.

What? Oh, like you're not lazy? Don't judge me.

Hey, wait a minute. Maybe it was all just a horrible nightmare. I know I just told you my dream, but you know those double dreams. Like...hmm, OH! Like one moment you're running away from the evil clam monster then out of nowhere you're on a ship with Jack Sparrow. I mean _Captain _Jack Sparrow. You always have to add that. Anyways-You're on the ship or whatever, and no one knows what you're talking about when you say evil clam monster. BECAUSE IT WAS A DREAM IN A DREAM! A double dream.

There. See, I could be a teacher. And-Wow, I really gotta pee.

But it's plausible, right. PLEASE let it have happened.

Reluctantly and blindly, I make my way to the bathroom. And by blindly, I mean I was literatly blind. Like, it was so bright, I had my eyes squeezed shut and my arms in front of me, feeling my way around. I'm NOT a morning person, m'kay.

Don't give me that look. You've had that kind of morning, too, and you know it.

I think any person who happens to be a morning person is just creepy. The next time I see one and they say "hi, I'm Joe. What a lovely morning." I swear I will kick 'em in the gut.

Wow, I never relized this, but I've got a REALLY short attention span. Hmmm...

Oh, well. I get up and (again) blindly find the doorknob and flop on the mattress.

"Remy get up!" John says.

"Make me." I mumble.

I hear Wade roll his eyes. Don't ask me how I'm able to, just am. And I know I shouldn't fall for this, 'cuz it's Wade, but I guess I'm a full blown moron, 'cause I hear him say all too flatly and blandly, "Oh, Rogue, please put some clothes on."

I kid you not, I bolt RIGHT up and search frantically. Can you tell I'm really upset, 'cuz I am, dangit!

I notice my surroundings. The hotel.

Fudge buggers. It wasn't a double dream.

What was I talking about a while ago? Something James Bond meets a potato? Oh, no! Can't bring my mind back to Satan's food!

Calm down, Remy. It'll be ok.

Wait a cotton pickin' second here! How the heck are a bunch of potatos growing in the middle of December! And isn't _Idaho _the potato state?

**Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...**

WC?

**Well, in this dimension, er, potato season is in winter a-a-a-and also in this universe Ohio is the potato state...**

You're just making up this stuff because you didn't relize it when you first wrote it, huh?

**Yeah, pretty much.**

Oh, well. Heh, while I'm up, might as well bug Rogue.

I walk to the door and theres Rogue sprawled on her bed. One foot hanging over the bed, both arms in different directions, and the covers all messy around her.

I wonder if this is what I look like when I sleep. I certaintly hope not. It looks...uncomfortable...

Sudenly, Rogue snorts. Real loud. It scares the crap out of me. Funny, I just used the bathroom.

Kidding. I'm not that disgusting...You know me, I'm perverted not gross.

So it was of that reason that I chose to sit down on ma chere's bed and shake her, and once she looked at me, I smirked and said, "I always wanted to see you sprawled on a bed."

She shots up and glares at me. God, I love seein' her so mad! It's like knowing that I got under skin brings me back to a time where there was happiness in the world, back to when I was a child where I was happy doing what ever kids do. That it will make the world better. World peace, feed the hungry, mutant rights. That kinda junk.

Ok, that's all a lie. I just like seeing her blush. Gotcha. *Wink*

"Are yah aware that yah jus' winked at a wall?" Rogue told me.

Crap! My mind is a dangerous thing to get lost in! I must've been out for hours!

"How long was I out dis time?" I ask.

"'Bout fahve minutes." She tells me.

Or I must've been out for about five minutes...Hmm. Stupid over reacting flaw of mine. I swear it's my only flaw.

**Ha. Hahaha! Hahahaha hoohooha. Oh, God. You can be a comedian, Remy.**

Shut it, woman. And stop interupting the story.

**No. I like adding commentary.**

Why?

**It's fun arguing with you!**

I know how Rogue feels now.

Speakin' of who, is now starin' at me like I've grown a second head. So, consiously, I grab my neck. Phew. Just the one.

"Remy...Is that you're friend you're talkin' to, again?" She asks.

"Yep. Why? I zone out again?"

She nods.

"Desole."

"Apologize tha raght way, Cajun." She teases. I remember when Illyana first met me. Hahahaha. What a _cute _little girl...Demon child.

"I did."

"No yah said 'tha door'." Rogue starts laughing.

She don't know that I have a deep hatered for the little girl. While you read about Rogue, the kid goes and kicks Remy in the shin! It's like Rogue's her mama or something and I'm the evil stepfather who comes and takes her away!

Once Rogue stops laughing, she looks at me. "Ah need ta call her."

My eye twitches. "Fine. Go 'head." Go call that stupid, little brat.

She smiled and grabbed her phone. She waved me off and I went away. Dumb little not so nice name stealin' my woman! Atleast it ain't Jamie.

Jamie Bond! That's what I was thinkin' about! Aha! Finally, phew, brain you're just slow today, huh?

**Are you seriously talking to your brain, Remy?**

Noooooooo...

Well, I think I should skip a little. Maybe, let's say...a few hours. Remember, now it's, like, 11 o'clock in the morning.

So, we're in the car. Now we're in the middle of Ohio, I still hate potatos, and we're far from any gas station. It's really quiet, which I'm gratefull for. Ah, peace. Serinity.

"I gotta pee!" Wade whines from the back.

I groan. "Why didn' y' go before we left?"

"I didn't have to go then!" Wade whines more. "Can you find some gas station?"

"We're in the middle of nowhere, Wade." Wanda points out.

"Then I'll go lumberjack style!" Wade yells.

I pull over and tell him he better hurry. About, TEN minutes later (yeah, dude's got some bladder issues), he FINALLY comes back.

"RIDE LIKE THE WIND!" Wade screams when he sits back down.

I roll my eyes and look at Rogue. "If I drive 'gain, I migh' be brough' t' de point t' where I kill someone. Please drive fer me."

She rolls her eyes at me and opens her car door. I go to the passanger seat but I'm hexed to the air. "What are y' doin', Wanda?"

"If I stay back here, I WILL KILL SOMEONE! Now you get your Cajun butt back here, or so help me, you won't be able to EVER have any children!" Wanda screams.

I gulp. "Yes ma'am!" I squeak. Crap, I squeaked.

She drops me on the asphalt. Ow, that really hurt.

The girls take the front seats and the boys wave at me.

Oh, boy, as if this was any better.


	5. Chapter 5

I can't wait until we go to Louisiana. Why, you may ask. Well, the answer is simple, mes amies. I hate people who won't shut up. Example: Wade and John won't stop talking about Transformers. The movie. They say Ann or was it Sam...I think it's Sam, is destant to be with that brunnette or the blondie.

I have no idea how they got onto that subject. One moment their talking about sour crout the next minute they're in a heated arguement about fictional characters. I wonder if normal people have these kinds of conversations. I don't know.

But Wanda and Rogue won't shut up about embarassing stuff they've caught their brothers doing.

"OH! One time Pietro was home alone and he didn't know about the secrete camera's I put up their for blackmail. Well, he gets a dress shirt, puts on white boxers, grabs some shades, and a hairbrush. The music to 'Old time Rock 'n' Roll' comes on out of nowhere and Pietro is nowhere in sight. I'm laughing and thinking 'He can't be serious.'" Wanda starts laughing. "Then-then, he slides in the room, slips on a pizza, and he was going a lot faster than he thought. He FALLS face first. But gets up and starts discoing on the table. He breaks it. Oh, the best part was when Tabitha walks in and just stares. He don't even notice her until he's done!"

Rogue starts laughing too, she has to hold onto the wheel harder. "Oh, that is funny! Um, lemme see. Yah know 'bout the 'Single ladies' thing...Oh! Once Kurt was caught playin' wit' some of Illyana's dolls an' a ken doll. He acted lahke it was a soap opera. Ah wish Ah taped it!"

"Oooh! Um, Pietro-"

"WE GET IT! Y'ALL BOT' HAVE BLACK MAIL OVE' YER BROTHERS!" I scream. You know what, I've never relized this up until now, but I'm a huge moron.

The car stops and they both slowly turn to look at me.

"What I mean to say is dat...I'm sorry Wanda an' Rogue!"

Rogue still glares at me.

"I love y'?" I try.

She turns and looks at Wanda. "Plan alpha-omega 42 section b caption 12."

"Really? That one?" Wanda asks.

"Yes."

Wanda just smiles at me, enough to scare me. "Oh, joy! I can't wait!"

Rogue steps on the gas and we're all jolted forward.

I'm scared.

"It's ok, Rems. Tha sheila's are probably just pmsing." Pyro tells me. I snicker but stop once they stop again.

"Excuse me!" Wanda bursts.

"You're excused." John chimes.

Wanda glares more.

I lean forward and tell John to shut up. "Whoi would I do that, mate?"

"For the sake o' yer manhood!"

He waves me away. You know, they are fighting a lot more than over some kiss. Or a diary.(I eavsdrop, gimme a break) It's gotta be something else!

"What's wit' y' two fightin'? Yer fightin' ove' somet'in' dat don' even make sense! Look, get ove' de fact dat y' ain't her first kiss, Pyro. She didn't tell y' 'cuz she was embarassed 'bout Toad of all people to kiss her. Wanda, let go of de fact dat he read yer diary!" I finally scream.

Wanda seems to forget all about her plans of murder for the both of us as she stares me down. "It's not that! I'm over that! It's something I'd rather not discuss." She turns away.

I look at Pyro and he does "Hmmph!" and turns away.

Ugh! Why can't I have normal friends? Was that honestly too much to ask-Wait...Wade's been really quiet. He's gotta be up to something.

I look at what he's doing and apparently he's in a serious match against a rubix cube. Ooookay? Wait, it's not just any rubix cube...It's in the shape of a circle. A rubix circle? Ok, this guy is weirder than I thought.

"Homme, why are y' playin' wit' a rubix...sphere?" I ask.

"'Cuz I'm in a battle with Suzie and Fred. They challenged me!" He screams.

"Who?"

"The voices in my head." Wade says simply before going back to his rubix sphere.

Why do I ever asking? Hey, look at that sign. Apparently, we're at the bottom of Tenesse. Phew, only a few more states to go. And that means no more potato fields for a long time.

Wade elbows me. "Yo, dude I'm hungery."

Everyone agrees with him.

"Where do we eat?" I ask.

"Ah dunno. Hey that's sounds lahke a good place to eat." Rogue says and points.

"'The potato palace'. Mmmm! I love potato foods, like french fries, mashed potatos-" Wanda started listing off foods.

I groan. God hates me. It's official. Just...kill me now. Someone. Anyone. I don't wanna be forced to be with those EVIL vegitables.

Yes, I have grown a bit of a fear for them.

"Um...What about Pizza Hut?" I suggest.

They looked at me like I was nutts. "Or not."

Crap. I was sure that would work. Ok, I'm fibbin', but I was, like, 20 maybe 30 percent sure though.

We pull into the drive way and I'm dreading every moment. You know that feeling that something really bad is about to happen, that's my thoughts.

I'm shaking by the time we get in. There's an old hag at the cash register with a big potato on her head. I scream. Don't you ever tell anyone that I screamed like a little 5 year old girl on a big rollar coster. Yeah, THAT loud.

Rogue looks at me. "What?"

"N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no-not'in. N-not'in'..." I stutter out.

She looks wearily at me before turning. "A table fer all of us, ma'am."

"Ok, right over there, missy. And merry Christmas." The lady says. Atleast she talked some what normal.

"Merry Christmas." All of us except for Wanda say.

"I'm jewish." She says before sitting down.

Ooookey dokey then. We all sit down. Wanda and Pyro still won't look at each other. Oy vey. Hey, I speak yittish. Cool.

Another woman comes by the table, no potato wear save for a name tag. She actually looks normal. Oh, thank God.

"Howdy, what can I get y'all." She asks, taking her pen out. She doesn't stop looking at me. Odd.

"Mashed potatos." Pyro says happily.

"Potato chips," Wade says.

"French fries." Wanda says.

"Cheesy potatos." Rogue says, glaring at the woman-er, Katrina. Her nametag says Katrina.

"Um, is there anyt'in' y' don' have dat is a potato?" I ask.

"Well, we always have dessert." She says slowly.

Um, oooookay?

"Sure. Is it chocolate cake?" I ask.

"It's any way ya want it, hon." She says and winks.

What is she-OH CRAP! Crap. Crap. Craaaaaaap! She's flirting with me. And not in a friendly way. Crap. Crap. Why'd I have to be so handsome?

I laugh nervously and look at a glaring, ready to commit murder Rogue. "Well, ha, um I-I think I'll just have some water!" I say real fast.

"Alright, then, Cajun." She winks again and walks away, shaking both hips. It looks like two pigs fighting underneath a blanket...

I turn slowly at Rogue and smile sweetly nervous. I'm gonna die today. That's what the bad feeling must've been. I know I asked for this earlier, but c'mon. A Rogue death! That's just cruel.

"So, _honey bear, _yah gonna get teh dessert?" She asks me cooly.

Oh red and blue monkey's in a barrel! Ok, LeBeau, it's just a woman, not like the most powerful, high strong mutant ever. Yeah, just keep lying to yourself, LeBeau, and things will go okay.

"Nooo! No! It-I didn't know she was flirtin'! Don't kill me!" I yell. Yep, smooth. This woman has made me lose my mojo.

She crosses her arms and glares. "This ain't ovah. Yah bettah tell her yah ain't interested."

I gulp and nod. Oh, wow. She's giving me mercy. It's a Christmas miracle!

The lady comes back with our orders. "Hiya. Sorry 'bout the wait. But, don't worry, hon, ya won't have to wait long for me. My shift is almost over." She winks again.

"Um...I have a girlfriend." I tell her.

"She won't ever know." She whispers.

"She's right beside me." I tell her and point to Rogue.

She looks surprised. "I thought she was your sister."

Oh, fudge! And to think this could've gone so much smoother if we went to pizza hut.

Rogue gets up and glares harder than I've ever seen her. Oh, no.

"Ah would really lahke fer yah tah leave us alone now." She says dangerously calm.

"Fine, whatever."

Phew. She leaves. I let go of the breath I didn't know I'd been holding in.

"Now, let us stuff our faces with our potato foods and celebrate. HAZZUH!" Wade says with his glass raised. Me and Pyro do the same.

"HAZZUH!"

Pyro reaches over and grabbs a hand full of Wanda's fries. She glares at him.

"You better not start that crap again!" She warns.

He eggs her on by grabbing another fry. She grabbs his mashed potatos and shoves it in his face.

"Oh, now it on, shelia!"

Wade looks amused. Me and Rogue jump up and hold them back.

"Guys, stop!" Rogue yells.

They just stop and glare at each other.

"Ok, what started all of this?" Wade asks.

"It's a long story." Wanda warns.

"Shoot away." I say.

"No, mates, really long."

"Go ahead." Rogue says.

Oh, boy. Here we go. 'Till next time kids.


	6. Chapter 6

John's POV

Hey, it's me, you're friendly, Austrailian, asylum escapee Pyro! You wanna know what happened between me and butt face, right? Nosy li'l...Ofcourse you do!

So my story goes on like this:

I was loungin' on the couch enjoyin' a Root Beer, playing Grand Theft Auto (I like it cuz I get to kill the old ladies and stuff like that. They maynot be old ladies, mates, but I just pretend they are!) when out of nowhere Wanda storms in.

"You ate my fries!" She screams.

I really hoped he wouldn't have found out. But never the less, I acted my best as innocent.

"OI would never do such a thing!" I screamed.

She glares at me. "John. You. Ate. My. Fries! I know it was you!"

"How? Why couldn't it have been Toad or Blob? Or even Lance? Maybe it was your brother attemptin' revenge or somthin'?" I ask.

"BECAUSE PIETRO DOESN'T LEAVE SCORCH MARKS WHEREVER HE GOES!" She screams. Her hands started glowing blue really bad. I reach for my lighter but it's knocked out of my hand by her hex thingys. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, but a lighter for fries makes us even!"

Oh no, she didn't! I glared at her, "Don't even think about it-GAH!"

And she did do just that. I was in such a state of shock that I completely blacked out. It wasn't until about a few hours later that I figured out where I was. I was in Wanda's roo, laying on her bed, with her diary in my hands.

I didn't mean to look through it. It just flipped open by itself. Ok, that's a total fib! Well, I read it.

"June 17, Dear Diary,  
>Today was the an okay day, minus almost dying. I'll start from the beginning. Well, I had that Harry Potter and Percy Jackson crossover dream again, not that bad. Well, then I had to eat the dreaded oatmeal. Seriously, who created that junk? It looks so disgusting! Like baby spit-up or something! Well, back on track. Then, I took a taxi. But would ya have guessed that one of Dad's lackies was there! Pyro. He's kinda cute. Off topic. Well, he was setting fire to the bridge. I got out of the car and whipped him! Haha! But he did this little twirl on the bridge, he looked like Spiderman. Oh well. Then he dropped his keychain. Mount. Arrows! That can only mean my father is there! And then...then I shall kill him. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!<p>

"But he knocked me off the bridged, to where I was dangling. The only thought that went through my mind was 'Dang, there was supposed to be a marathon of Johnny Bravo today on Boomarang. Guess I'll miss it.' Then the X Men showed up, just that little red headed bimbo and that prep meat whiny kid, though. Oh, and Storm. She seems nice. But, with no help from anyone, I pull myself up onto the slippery and wet surface. Yeah, really helpful. Jean only helped for like one second. Seriously, couldn't the girl just, like, mind threw me onto the surface or something! But hey a slow and useless rescue is better than falling and dying.

"Now, I guess I'll say this about the two, annoying as they can be, they are useful. I now know that little weasle of a brother is hiding! I've got to go now, I've got a boy to maime. I'll write again in a few hours."

Interesting was all I could think about this. Well, I skipped that.

"June 17, still, Dear Diary,  
>I'm back and...a little disoriented. I just came back from...whatever it was I was doing. You see, I'm really confused right now and I just came back from Mount. Arrows. I remember Toad trying out 'new looks' if you will and...Pyro. Me chasing Pyro. I can't remember why, though. It's all so confusing. I remember earlier telling him if I wanted him he'd have to be someone else, but I'm guessing he took it too far and grabbed Nightcrawler's image inducer. I also remember this smokin' hot German guy. He seemed into me and everything, but I guess hot guys will never really be into me. I'll get back to that later.<p>

"Well, I follow Pyro to this place and it all gets fuzzy right there. I can't remember anything else except for Nightcrawler and goreous German dude coming in to rescue me. The whole place was collapsing. I wake up in German dude's arms and I'm all excited. Ohhh! First kiss. Yes, this is what every girl dreams of. But it turned out that sexy German dude was Toad! Toad! Of all people! I know that he saved me, but good lord! Well, with my rant over, I have some books to organize."

I was shocked. They kissed. Well, Wanda was my sheila! But I was about to maime Toad when Wanda stormed into the room, glaring at me. Oh boy! We started fighting.

"You put my bras in the frezer!"

"Oi avenged my loighters!"

"Why you little-Wait! Is that my diary?" She screams.

I nod and glare. "I found some very interesting things in here. Like a sexy German blonde, me, and YOU KISSING TOAD!"

"John, put the book down, you have no idea what-"

"Oi can't believe you had the nerve to do that! Seriously woman! Don't ever think of me!"

"Are you seriously going to play the victum here? I-"

"Oi don't wanna hear it! Oi don't think I can cope roight now."

"So does that mean we're over?" Wanda asks, narrowing her eyes.

"Oi don't know. Should-"

"For now, I'm about to decapitate you, so you better leave. We are done for now." Wanda tells me before she slams the door in my face.

Yep. That's exactly what happened.

Now we're back in the present.

Remy and Rogue looked at us with gaping mouths. "Dat's what happ'ned?"

"Ovah fries an' a broken lighter?" Rogue yells.

"It was my favorite loighter!" I scream.

"And they were _**my **_fries!" Wanda yells.

"Ah've had worse things to fight ovah wit' Kitty. An' one tahme it was ovah a sweater!" Rogue yells.

"Soooooo...Wow. Dude..." Wade says.

I notice Remy fidgeting as he looks at my mashed potato mountain. While I was talking, I was constructing a mountain. It was the cutest little mountain you ever did see, I tell ya. Oh and the yummiest.

"Can we please leave now?" Remy begs.

What's wrong with him? He's been screaming randomly and twitching. Granted, I do this alot. But, my mate Remy is more...er, saner. I guess that is the word right.

"Why do yoi wanna leave so bad, mate?" I ask.

"NO REASON!" He yells. Okay. He won't talk I'll get him to talk-Wait. I'm outta time. Bugger.

Wel, see ya kids. 'Till next time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok, so I'm up at midnight and haven't had decent sleep in God knows how long. I BETTER GET SOME REVIEWS FOR THIS!**

Remy's POV

All I could say was wow. Seriously, over french fries? REALLY? But look on the brightside...I told you potatos were evil.

"Can we please leave now?" I whine.

"Dude! What's your deal? Why don't you just go to Pizza Hut or something and come back in half an hour?" Wade suggests.

What this I hear...Wade using logic! That's it. I'm dead, the potatos have killed me, and I didn't even know it.

"Ok. Anyone wanna come with?" I ask. No one raises their hand. Oh well.

I leave and hop in the car. It wasn't until I was halfway through the street that I heard a clicking. What the...I park by some trees and look behind me and come face to face with a gun. Oh, merde.

"Uh..." Is all I can say.

"Get a move on, see. Grab all your crap and leave, see." He had one of those 1930's mobster dudes accents. He even wore a pinstripped suit. I do as I was told and grabbed all the bags.

It doesn't help that Wade brought, like, SIX bags. What a diva.

The mobster dude gets behind the wheel and smirks. "Thanks, kid."

I watch as my beautiful car just gets jacked. Oh, Rogue is not gonna like this.

2 HOURS LATER

My clothes are all dishevled as I'm trudging with the bags back to Potato Palace. I see the gang waiting outside and talking about me

"Do you think he ditched us?" Wanda asked Wade. He shrugged.

"Once Ah fahnde that Cajun-Oh mah Gawd!" Rogue sees me and runs over to me.

"Remy! What happened!" Rogue asks as I fall in her arms. Ah, this is nice.

"I got car jacked." I tell them.

"Why didn't you charge something and throw it at them, mate?"

Good question. Why didn't I? I'll answer that. I'm an idiot!

"There was...SIX of 'em! Armed with bazooka's!" I lie.

"Oh dear, Ah'm glad yer ok."

"I fought fo' as long as I could, until my body gave out." I lie some more.

"Oh wow. Do yah need a doctor, Remy?" Rogue sits me down on a bench.

"Non, non. 'M fine, really. Jus' need to lie down, maybe watch some Spongebob, an' maybe have y' watch over me." I ask and put on my puppy dog eyes.

She smiles. "Ok, swamp rat. First we gotta go to anothah motel."

"A motel?" Wade squeaked.

"What's wrong with a motel?" Wanda asks.

"Well, for one there might be a hobo living in there! A hobo! Those things are creepy. On another note, there's a bunch of cockroaches in motels." Wade states.

"Wade it is highly illogical that there is a hobo hanging out in the motel. And they stopped with the roaches back in, like, the '70's or something." Wanda says.

"Yeah, Wade, Wands is raght." Rogue said.

"Fine, we'll go. But don't expect me to not say I toldja so."

Oh, good Lord. Ever have that weird feeling that someone is right, but way off? Yeah, that's how I am now. You know what? Screw it! After listening to girls gossip, going into a potato reastrant, getting flirted with and almost killed by my girlfriend, then get car jacked, I think I can stand a few roaches!

XX Later XX

I hate my life. I don't know what I've done that was so bad. Aside from lyin', stealin', cheatin' on all those tests, Sinister, Magneto, and-Ok, this is a long list.

Well, I'm just innocent.

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

WC, why I haven't heard from you in a while.

**Well, I've been busy lately.**

Ah. Ok, well we grab our bags(minus me :D! Haha!) and headed to the motel area. But we got lost on the way. We must've looked really stupid. I'll tell you what it looked like.

Wade had a Hawaiian shirt over his suit while holding six bags and the map. Rogue was in her black, gothicy/emo whatever it is she is, clothes with Wanda in the same wear, both looking over Wade's shoulder. I was slumping on Pyro who was singing Mary had a little lamb. You know what I look like but Pyro looked like a giant birthday candle. Blue jeans and from the waste up yellow, orange, and red.

Some would stare at us. Some would notice us as mutants and run like a bat outta hades. Wade pulls some random dude and asks for directions.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Ya take a left past noneya street then turn left after business avenue." He says. DP lets go of him and I'm thinkin', 'poor dude, shoulda just given him directions.'

Wade smiles behind his mask and waves him off, "Thank you, random stranger."

Then we leave the very confused man.

As you could probably guess, this will take a while. So don't touch that dial kids, come back after the break. Aaaaaactually, ya may wanna leave this page for now...Could be back in a few minutes (I highly doubt it) or in a week...so yeeeeah...

Well, see ya when we's see ya.


	8. Chapter 8

**Anonmous-I'm really stupid. You said prequel, did you mean this when you said you liked the prequel better?**

**Sorry it's so short and that it took this long. Short= writers block. Time= writers block.**

**The following is sponsered by Parents. Yes parents. Because without them, I wouldn't be here and wouldn't have a labtop.**

Ok, wow. We're back sooner than I thought we would.

Well, we FINALLY make it to the motel. Apparently the random stranger gave us wrong directions. Shocker. Well, the plac...It looks...er, managable. Not as bad as when Wade was describing a motel.

"Look, it's Pinky and the Brain!" John yelled.

"What are yah talkin' 'bout-EEEEH! A RAT!" Rogue jumps onto the bed and looks bug eyed.

I look at her. Wow. She's afraid of rats? I worry about my chere sometimes.

**Really Remy?**

What? I'm completely normal.

**Your best friends are John and Wade, you listen to Brittney Spears, you are afraid of potatos, you dated BellaDonna for cryin' out load, and your a master theif who just got car jacked. That's not normal, Rems.**

I know...But you don't have to rub my face in it...Geez, can't we just lead the readers on or something-Wait...A question just came to mind, I'm frickin' awesome in the comics and stuff, right?

**...Yeah.**

But in here, you make me out like I'm some sort of dork. Why is that?

**I mess with characters I like. Look at poor Rogue in This Sucks.**

Good point. Ok, back to reality.

I sit beside a shaking Rogue and put my arms around her.

"Why are you afraid of a rodant?" I whisper.

"Why are you afraid of a veggitable?" She whispers back.

Crap.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I say slyly. But darnit, women have like a sixth sense or something when it comes to lying.

"Remy, Ah ain't no idiot."

"Well, you jus' used a double negative, so there!" I screamed.

"Whatever."

"ZOMG! I TOLDJA SO!" Wade could be heard screaming from the bathroom.

"What! A HOBO AND ROACHES!" Pyro screamed.

"That's it, we're leaving." Wanda said.

"But no car." I ask.

"Wade, go out an' get a car." Rogue commands.

"But-"

"NOW!"

"EEP!" Wade skattered outside.

I just hope he don't get some beetle or something. Oh, well, this is all Remy can say for the moment. See you next chapter.


End file.
